Sorrow is my constant companion today. Sorrow over a growing awareness of my sinfulness and my lack of response to love is heavy. Yet, as I have wondered the scriptures today, the hope of Christ is still with me. There is a tension between sorrow and awe. Sorrow for the reality of my sin and awe for the One who loves me with my sin. Sin never changes Papa's faithfulness and love.
With each new revelation comes a growing mistrust of self and a firm trust in God. Truly, who else or what else can we trust? In humble awareness of my weaknesses, I am cautious to even go forward. However, I am beginning to realize that even this is enemy's attack to paralyze me in fear. Only God can transform this sinner's heart and create a new life formed and fashioned in His beauty.
Nonetheless, though sorrow abounds, my sense of joy and gratitude is even deeper. Victory through Jesus, salvation, a new life, freedom, love... all this and so much more are mine because of the relentless generosity, compassion, grace and tenderness of Jesus Christ. I feel like the woman in John 8 who anointed Jesus' feet with an expensive luxurious cream. Her joy and gratitude compelled her to extravagantly worship Jesus. She worshiped him even as others scorned her actions. She was madly in love with her Savior. Her intimate moment in worship was uncomfortable for those watching. Knowing that she would probably be misunderstood, I am sure she must have weighed it out in her mind. Still she worshiped Jesus like no else ever recorded.
Read through John 12. Put yourself in the story. You may find yourself to be the woman, Judas, one of the others in the room, or maybe just yourself as you look on. How does it feel to watch this woman pour out her love? Are you uncomfortable? Do you wish you had the courage to worship Jesus like she did? What is your first reaction? Linger in this story. Let the truth unfold in your heart. Allow the Holy Spirit room to move in you, revealing truth and drawing you to the Jesus this woman loved so much.
Becoming an extravagant worshiper. Cathy
1 comment:
This passage you mentioned has been an encouragement to me, maybe in a little different way, along with 2 others, the one in Luke 8:1-11 about the woman caught in adultery who was brought to Jesus, and the one in Mark 10:13-16 where Jesus said, Let the children come to me. What ministers to me is the response of Jesus, how he defends the ones who were powerless in these situations. I struggle to see Jesus willing to uphold me in betrayal, and in the midst of true (but devastating) accusations/condemnation from others. I want to get there, tho. I want to do what Jesus says, to "let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart..."
Thanks for all you are sharing!
Post a Comment